Disempowered People Disempower People

Disempowered People Disempower People - And why your fabulous self is exactly the threat they think it is.

I posted something on Facebook recently after seeing and hearing about a wave of bullying behaviour creeping into spaces that should feel safe. It struck a nerve as it was clear this landed because so many of us have lived it.

So I want to go deeper. Because this isn't just about playground politics showing up in adult lives. It's about something much more fundamental: what happens when someone who has stopped growing watches someone else flourish.

The Bully Didn't Stop Believing in Dreams.

They Stopped Believing in Their Own. When I went through something similar a few years ago, I realised that the person who criticises your confidence, questions your dreams, dismisses your ideas or mocks your ambition isn't doing it from a place of strength.

They're doing it from a place of pain. That doesn't make it okay. But it does make it easier to understand where that behaviour comes from and understanding it is how you stop letting it have power over you.

When you show up boldly, when you back yourself and when you take a leap toward something you want, some people won't cheer you on. And it’s not because you're doing anything wrong, it’s because your courage is a reminder of the risks they decided weren't worth taking.

Your growth exposes exactly where they've stayed stuck. So they do what hurts people do: they try to bring you down to where they are.

What Disempowerment Actually Looks Like.

It's not always obvious. It doesn't always look like a nasty comment on a post or a cutting remark in a group chat (although, there’s a lot of that right now). Sometimes disempowerment is quieter: The backhanded compliment that leaves you second-guessing yourself.

The subtle undermining disguised as ‘just being honest’

The eye roll when you share good news

The silence when you needed someone to say ‘well done’

The person who always has a reason why your idea won't work

Sound familiar? It will, because most of us have encountered at least one of these and if we're truly honest with ourselves, most of us have probably been one of these at some low point too.

Because disempowerment isn't a personality type. It's a symptom of someone who hasn't yet done the work to own their own story and sorted their own shit out!

Why You Mustn't Shrink.

This is the part I feel most strongly about. When someone makes you feel too loud, too much or too ambitious, the instinct is to make yourself smaller. To dial it back. To keep your head down and not rock the boat.

And I get it. I did that!

And it's exhausting to keep showing up when someone seems determined to dim your light.But shrinking doesn't protect you. It just gives them what they wanted. The moment you hide your confidence to make someone else comfortable; you've given your power away. And you'll never get it back by playing small.

Don't fight back either - that just puts you on their level and keeps you tangled in their energy. The most powerful response to someone who wants to see you falter is to keep going. Keep showing up. Keep being unapologetically, brilliantly, fabulously you.

That's not arrogance, it’s resilience. It's refusing to let someone else's unresolved story become the ending of yours.

Empowered People Empower People.

This is the bit I love most and the work I do with my clients. When you do the work. When you choose growth over comfort, courage over fear and abundance over scarcity, something shifts.

You stop seeing other people's success as a threat and start seeing it as proof of what's possible. Empowered people are the ones who:

Celebrate your wins like they're their own

Share opportunities instead of hoarding them

Tell you what they see in you especially when you can't see it yourself

Challenge you because they believe in what you're capable of

Create space for others to shine without dimming their own light

We all know someone like this. They make you feel bigger just by being around them. They remind you of who you are when you forget…

Be that person.

Not because it's a nice thing to do (though it is). But because the world is genuinely better, more joyful and more productive when people lift each other up instead of tearing each other down. 

A Note to Anyone Who's Been on the Receiving End.

If you've been bullied, belittled, mocked or made to feel like your dreams are too big I want you to remember: The problem was never you. It was never your ambition or your confidence or your willingness to take up space.

The problem was that someone, somewhere along the way, was too stuck in their own story to celebrate yours. You were never too much. You were just too much for them.

Keep going. The world needs what you've got.